Happy Mother's Day!

Today is my very first Mother's Day. For years this day has been emotional for me... I would see all the other women lucky enough to be moms celebrating on Facebook and I wanted more than anything for that to be me. Well this year, I am finally a mom! And Nate did a fantastic job making me feel special and spoiled on my first Mother's Day weekend.

It started off on Friday. I've been pointing to Callum and saying his name, then pointing to me and saying, "Mama" for a few weeks now. I did it again on Friday while feeding him lunch, and he looked right at me and said "Mama!" in this perfect clear little voice. It was definitely a word not a sound! Of course I burst into tears after I flew down the stairs to tell my mom. What a perfect Mother's Day gift! Now, I know at 6 months he doesn't really know that I am "Mama" but the fact he said it was good enough for me. He's going to be a talker just like his good old mom.

Friday evening we grilled up steaks, baked potatoes, and corn on the cob to celebrate Mother's Day with my mom. For dessert, we had cake that Nate had bought me for Mother's Day and mom had some of the fantastic chocolate gluten free cupcakes with cream cheese icing I had made earlier that day. After dinner we exchanged gifts with my mom. She had bought me a few tank tops from the "pugs" and then some much needed pjs from her and Callum. I had bought her a necklace and matching ring she had been coveting on Pinterest, and Callum gave her a family stone necklace and a framed picture of him and his Yammi.

Saturday morning, Nate and Callum took me out for brunch at Barb and Ernie's, our favourite breakfast joint. We decided on Saturday to avoid the insane Mother's Day crowds. Callum was so cute, he sat in one of the "big boy" restaurant highchairs for the first time and he loved. He is so strong for 6.5 months and had no problem at all. He even ate all his breakfast (mixed cereal and fruit)! We spent the rest of the day doing some shopping and we even took a little walk to the small Farmer's Market in SEC. In that 20 minute span, my litte fair-complexioned son managed to sunburn his cheeks! I now have baby sunblock on hand to avoid that for the future.

On Sunday, my brother showed up with flowers for my mom around 11, which is when we all woke up. Notice I said all... Callum slept right through the night with no early morning feeding! Mommy and Daddy had a great sleep thanks to that. I received a card from Mike for my first Mother's Day (aw!) and after we all hung out and had lunch at home, Nate and I packed up Callum and headed to my SIL's place for Mother's Day Supper with his family. Nate's mom bought me a gorgeous Pandora charm for my bracelet which was so sweet of her. When we got home, we wrapped up the evening watching TV and relaxing. It was the best Mother's Day weekend ever!

You are half a year old!!!

Dear Callum,

Yesterday you turned 6 months old. I don't know how that happened... it feels like I only gave birth to you a couple of months ago!

So much has happened in the last 6 months, and we have loved every single second of it. You are such an incredibly good baby. You have slept through the night since you were about 6-8 weeks old. You rarely fuss, except when you want booby NOW or if your teeth are bugging you. Speaking of which, you have one tooth on your bottom right already and you are working on the other. You've had that tooth for about a week now. Yesterday, you sat by yourself for a whole 15 minutes unassisted. You had been working up to it all week, and then BAM!, you turned 6 months and was like, "I can sit now. I'm 6 months old!". Your datta, Yammi, and I are in constant awe of you. We probably say about 100 times a day "He is so frigging cute!" or "What a smart baby he is!" "I can't believe how he's growing, he's so amazing!". Yeah, I'd say we are pretty smitten. Oh and your LAUGH! Oh my god, you have the most infectious smile and even more infectious laugh. We pride ourselves at making you laugh hysterical every single day and by the time we go to bed, our faces hurt and our tummy muscles are aching from laughing with you.

Every day you have more and more hair. You were born with a decent amount of chick fuzz, but lost it around 2 months old. You had a bald phase there for a while (which you totally rocked by the way with your cute round head and chubby cheeks) but slowly you have been growing hair and no longer can we refer to you as our little baldy.

You LOVE water. Sometimes during bath time you won't even look at me because you are too busy splashing and kicking with glee. You prefer deep baths that allow you to "float" with our assistance, but any type of water will do. We've taken you swimming twice now, and you love that just as much. It doesn't phase you in the least. While all the other little babies are freaking out about being in the pool, you don't bat an eyelash at getting doused in the shower or being plunked into the water. If you get water in your face, you act like it's no big deal. Considering I'm pretty sure your father is part fish, and if you get me, Yammi, or Uncle Muncle near an ocean you are unlikely to get us back out until we are sunburned and wrinkled, this is no big surprise.

I am also incredibly proud that we are still breastfeeding 6 months later. Depending on your age when reading this, you are probably going "ew gross mom!!" but too bad. I'm proud. It was a big deal to me to get to be pregnant after trying all of those years, and one of things I was looking forward to most was breastfeeding. That dream was almost taken away due to a milk supply that never fully came in and some physical problems with my breasts (yes I know, ew!) but thanks to a lactation consultant and a device called an SNS which we fondly refer to as your booby bag, we are still going strong at 6 months. You often nurse for comfort in bed without the SNS too, which makes your momma's heart swell.

As for food, you are your mama's boy for sure. You LOVE solid food. You are a pretty polite eater too, which you certainly did not get from me. So far I'd have to say your favourites are cereal, butternut squash, and pears. We started you just after you turned 5 months because you would not. stop. staring(!) at our food and grabbing for it. And then I woke up one day and was like, "I want to feed him food!". So we did, on Good Friday, for the first time. You made some really hilarious faces and then you went to town eating what we gave you.

I love you so much little man. I cannot put into words how much I love you because it is so immense. My very favourite part of the day is when daddy brings you to bed with me after he's fed you before going to work. You nurse and snuggle in next to me, and then we sleep for another 4 hours or so. You got your love of sleep from both of us, and we couldn't be prouder!

Being a mom is all that I hoped it would be and more. It is easier than I thought and harder at the same time. Being a mom is easy, but the worrying and emotions that come with the job are the hard part.

Love always and forever and ever,

Mama
xo

The birth of Callum Avery Lee

Our baby boy was born on October 30, 2011 at 10:40 pm. He weighed in at 6 lbs 2 oz and measured 18.5 inches long.


I was induced on October 28, 2011 at nearly 37 weeks due to high blood pressure and the beginnings of pre-eclampsia. It took a second Cervadil on the 29th to really get labour going. The night of the 29th we went in thinking it was time, but I was only 2 cm dilated. They gave me a morphine shot which slowed down contractions, and I got sent home to get some much needed sleep. The next day, we were to go in and be checked and possibly get another Cervadil. Contractions had picked back up to about 3-5 minutes apart, and my water broke as we walked through the doors of the hospital. Needless to say, I was admitted.


After a nearly impossible IV start (they needed a special ultrasound machine and 2 anesthesiologists to do it), a failed epidural (NO pain relief even after a few top ups; apparently it was put in too low) and about 7 hours of active labour, I was 9 cm dilated. Unfortunately, our baby's head would not descend, and the stronger the contractions got, the more his heart rate began to decelerate. Finally it was too much for baby, so they decided to do a c-section. I received a spinal in the operating room since my epidural did not take, but the anesthesiologist put it in too high and right away I began to feel my arms go numb, followed by my chest. Soon I was having trouble breathing, and the stupid doctor kept telling me I was fine and was just panicking because I was nervous. I wasn't. I was gasping for breath and was trying to say "HELP!" but I couldn't talk by that point. A few seconds later I began to black out from lack of oxygen and he finally took me seriously. The last thing I heard before passing out was him saying "Uh oh, call a code pink and contact NICU!" My last thought was, "This is it. I'm dying." 


Because my heart rate rapidly dropped, our baby was not doing well at all and they had to do an emergency c-section. I was put under general anesthesia after I had already blacked out. My mom and brother were in the waiting room outside the OR while Nate was getting gowned and ready to come in for the c-section, and they said they heard the code being called over the PA and watched as about 12 doctors and nurses came running down the hall. I was the only one in the OR so my poor family and husband were beyond freaked out. They knew something was really wrong. Thankfully, the team of doctors were amazing and Callum was born quickly. My own OB was the one to perform the surgery. Callum emerged with some fluid in his lungs and had a fairly low apgar score due to distress. They rushed him to the NICU and Nate went with him after trying to figure out whether he should stay with me or the baby. My mom assured him that he should go with the baby and that they would stay with me. 
When I woke up, my first question was, "I'm alive??" because I truly thought I died there on the OR table. The second question was of course, "Where's my baby?!" I was told that Callum was stable and doing well by that point, but would need to remain in the NICU for a little while. I was pretty out of it on drugs, but I DO remember the anesthesiologist coming in and attempting to joke with me about how he probably should have listened to me when I said I couldn't breathe. Needless to say he is NOT my favourite person. 


I finally was allowed to see Callum about 8 hours after he was born. I had to wait until the spinal had worn off and I was able to walk. Let me tell you, nothing could have kept me from getting out of that bed.  I practically leapt out of bed when the nurse said I could get up slowly. I was shaking from head to toe as Nate wheeled me to the NICU to see our baby for the first time. I was so excited and nervous. When I finally saw him inside his incubator, I lost it. He was so perfect and tiny and he was ours! I couldn't believe this little person had been inside me for 9 months. When Nate put him in my arms I experienced pure and absolute joy. I fell in love with him right then and there. It didn't matter anymore that we didn't get to bond immediately after his birth. The nurse told me to put him to my breast and he latched like a champ. We were up to see him that day at every possible minute between sleep.


Callum did so well that he only needed to stay in the NICU for about 28 hours. The night he was brought to us, we had fallen asleep waiting for him to arrive in our room. I was woken up at about 1:30 am by a baby's cry that sounded just like him-- in those early days he sounded like a hoarse tea kettle thanks to the tubes he'd had down his throat. I fell back asleep thinking that surely that baby wasn't mine as he was still in NICU. About 20 minutes later, a nurse wheeled him into my room. It WAS my baby I heard! They had been getting him cleaned up for me and he wasn't impressed with being bathed. I remember how excited we were to finally have him sleeping next to us. Our family was complete!


After Callum was out of NICU, we both did fine recovery wise and were able to go home 3 days later. He had a bit of jaundice we had to keep an eye on, and I had an incredibly easy caesarean recovery. Emotionally though, I'd say I'm still recovering. I never thought that the day my baby was born would be the worst AND best day of my life at the same time.


That said, being a mom is the best thing in the world. And no, I'm not just saying that. Is it hard? Hell yeah! But it's also SO worth it. It helps that I have an amazing support system at home with both my wonderful husband and amazing mom. Callum is also a very easy baby. He eats well, and he sleeps through the night. Having him is worth every second of the 6 years of heart ache we had to endure before finally holding him in our arms. My dreams have finally come true!